Well, at least they’re together… forever…
I apologize for the lack of posts but really… there’s nothing new out there.
My professor began the first day of class by coming in 5 minutes late, asking if the room was indeed for “Intro to Philosophy”, and upon seeing many nods, said “Crap!” and stormed out in a hurry. Well, that was the beginning of what’s turning out to be the most enjoyable class I’ve ever had. But, before I get too far of myself exalting Jim (he refuses to be called anything else), I must pull the topic back to something that’s been muddling my mind.
Love. In one lecture, Jim asked the entire class for the definition of love. Of course, there’s no single answer. It varies from person to person but one thing’s clear, love exists. There was only one thing that the class established. When two people love each other, they tend to want to be with each other. Friends are the same way… but somehow, lovers transcend the “friend-friend” bond, sometimes developing from it.
Recently, I got an email from an old high school friend. Nearly four years have passed since we saw each other and beyond the usual pleasantries, she asked why she wasn’t invited to the wedding. Scratching my head for the longest while, I eventually found out that it’s because of my Facebook relationship status, which I changed to “married” since I had my adorable Rei’s from Otakon 2008. It was intended to be a joke which my closest friends knew about… but since time and distance parted us into separate walks of life, she had no idea and assumed that I found a real woman and proposed. That and I never went into anime/manga until my freshman year at college.
I had a hard time explaining myself since she was a serious kind of person, very traditional to say the least. It got worse when I tried to keep the joke going by saying that I have three wives (all figurines of course). After shooting emails back and forth, the misunderstanding was cleared up and she asked me if I’ve thought about settling with a real female.
My mind stopped working.
I had a draft response saved up… but beyond the “Hello”, I couldn’t put any of my thoughts into words. To be honest, I never really thought about romantic relationships and if confronted with such a question, I usually passed it off saying that “I’m not interested” or more recently, “I already have -wives- so I don’t need to complicate my life any further”. I was one of those people that try to avoid it… but love’s one of those things in life that I know I’ll have to face… sooner or later. Just… preferably later.
With my friends, some of them are in relationships and I’m happy for them. However, there are moments when I feel left out and I considered (actively) looking for someone. Then again, I have to question myself in exactly what I want because I feel that love is one of those pure things… It should not be tainted with anything meaningless or superficial. If I were to find love, it would be because I will love someone and nothing more.
I could make a list about what I want. Blue hair. Not possible? Fine, I’ll settle with black then. Shoulder-length at most and I would like the hair to be straight, not curly or anything like that. She needs to be shorter than me though that’s easy to do with my 6’4″ frame… but not too short that if we were to dance, I’ll have to be on my knees (been there, done that). Love of… or at least appreciation for anime/manga is highly desirable. She must also be the one to initiate the relationship though willing to let me lead at times. I could go on and on about physical, mental, and behavioral attributes but they’re things that I want… rather than someone that I need.
Maybe I’m overthinking things. Maybe the 3 hours of sleep I had last night is starting to get to me. Maybe I’m trying to run away from an issue that will catch up to me and beat me down (possibly literally). Maybe I’m just grasping for something that can’t be grasped.
I think I need some sleep.